Presentations and People

This last week I gave presentations to two Rotary Clubs, an Optimist Club and a retirement community. For the service organizations, I’ve been donating 20% of the proceeds from book sales to their current charitable project. This encouraged people to buy books and also provided additional funds to worthwhile causes. Some of the tidbits shared with me by people I met include the following: A boy is separated from his grandfather in a crowd and a kind woman after hearing the boy’s predicament asks him, “What’s your grandfather like?” He responds, “Wild Turkey and wild women.” I was given this saying: “Judgment comes from experience but experience comes from bad judgment.”

Stories and Jokes People Tell Me

While giving talks this last week, numerous people shared their stories and jokes with me. Here are some of my favorites. Old people don’t get the West Nile virus. They get C-Nile. A retirement home received a letter addressed to Jerry Atric. Andres Segovia was asked why he still practiced three hours a day in his eighties and answered, “I’m beginning to notice a little improvement.” While singing “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands,” a woman Alzheimer’s patient instead sang, “He’s got the whole world in his pants.” In my presentation I give a list of how you can tell you’re getting older. One older gentleman gave me a new item to add to my list: You know you’re getting older when what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work. Another saying given to me: Wisdom can’t come without age, but age can come without wisdom. Finally, after I spoke about using walking sticks as a good form of exercise, someone piped up and said I could title the next mystery in my series, “Walking Sticks Are Murder.”

Presentations

I’ll be giving quite a few presentations over the next few months. I always enjoy speaking to new groups and meeting people. This last week I spoke at an Optimist Club. I like Optimists—they’re so positive! I also presented at a retirement community. During the questions and answers session at the end, an older gentleman raised his hand and said he had a story for me to use in one of my future talks. Three people were discussing when life begins. The first said at conception. No, the second answered, it’s at birth. The third jumped in. No, you’re both wrong. Life begins with the kids move out and the dog dies.

Speaking Events

As a writer and speaker, I often do events for service organizations such as Optimist, Kiwanis, Lions, Sertoma and Rotary. The presentation I give is titled, “The Secret of Growing Older Gracefully—Aging and Other Minor Inconveniences,” which promotes a positive image of aging. I received a useful suggestion when selling books at these events, and I’ll be trying it out this coming week. I’ll provide 20% of the proceeds from books I sell at these clubs to the charity that they are supporting. I’ll let you know how this works out.

More Police Roll Playing

Last Wednesday I participated in another half day of roll playing to help train new police officers. This is always an opportunity for me to learn more about police operations for my writing while contributing to the training of new officers. My assignment this time was to panhandle in a park. I traded off with one other person—one time being the panhandler and the next being the person accosted. Panhandling isn’t a crime. A crime occurs with what is termed “aggressive begging”—when the panhandler doesn’t take no for an answer the first time and keeps pestering the other person. In the city of Boulder, Colorado, where I live, the only other offense is panhandling on a median divider of a street. This is considered unsafe. During my stint as a panhandler, I received two citations and was arrested and cuffed once. I had a pocket knife and that was confiscated the time I was arrested. So panhandling follows the same rule as sexual encounters. One someone says, “no,” it’s time to back off.